I'm always worried that staying persistent in the face of constant rejection is a form a self delusion, because there's no way you can prove that it's not. People say that you should keep going. Stay consistent. Keep trying. Never quit, never surrender. Just Do It It's gonna happen eventually.

I do believe that if you want something really badly, you will find a way to get it. You spend enough time pursuing something, eventually you'll get there. But I still worry of seeming foolish, naive, oblivious. I feel sometimes like Tommy Wiseau in The Disaster Artist or like that French guy in Exit through the Gift Shop. Even though these guys achieved "success", they achieved it for the wrong reasons.

I know I'm not that deluded, oblivious, and crazy like Tommy Wiseau or Mr. Brainwash. I know what I know, what I don't know, and that there are even more things that I don't know that I don't know. See unknown unknowns.

Twenty twenty has been an extremely sucktastic year for a lot of people, but we gotta keep going right? And yeah, being persistent and gritty is a little bit on the crazy spectrum, but at least we're doing what makes us happy.

And maybe all this is just the holiday blues kicking in. Happy Holiday's yall.

Dec 23 2020 by Jay Cruz

sliceoflife